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Monday, October 3, 2011

Despair.



She was middle age, sitting up on a hospital bed. She was still like a statue and very disheveled. She was trying to appear strong but the flow of tears were a dead give away. Maybe her inability to control her emotions was compounding her despair and frustration. 

She was again admitted with another suicidal attempt. When we started to talk she opened up and said "I always felt the desire to end it all" she paused for a second like she was trying to find the right words then she said very softly,
"when I was 8, I used to take cold baths in winter and stand outside the house, hoping I may catch pneumonia!. 

Just imagine, 8 years old and so much pain to bear! 

"I love walking in the rain, 'cause no one knows I'm crying" 
Unknown.

Blog you later.

About the picture: I shot this inside Doge's Palace. To me it depicts despair.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

She cried, good Luck with needle stick!



She cried not that she was stuck, she cried because I was stuck with her needle.

Sometime back I saw her initially in the ER, around 4:30 in the morning; she was a young girl, a high risk IV drug user who was septic. She was in shock, confused and burning. Her anxious father was pacing nearby; I was afraid that he was going to pass out any time.
I provided not much comfort to him when I told him that she was in septic shock and that she has a guarded prognosis.

She initially refused a central line placement but after much debate she consented but only if my other colleague in the ER would do it. Maybe she found my ER attending to be more comforting. I spoke with the ER physician and she obliged and placed the line.

The next 24 hours were tough for her, but utilizing the 6 hour and 12 hour sepsis bundles we were able to stabilize her. I was questioning a vegetation on her heart valve. During a transesophageal echocardiogram, cardiologist saw an artifact in the atrium. Assuming that this could be the central line, we pulled back the line and the artifact on the echo disappeared. Viola… no vegetations.

As I was almost done with securing the line I stuck myself. For a second my mind went blank, thinking about the significance of this needle stick from a very high risk patient. Naturally I started to think about my wife, my daughters and our baby who is on the way. All the statistics about needle stick started to resonate ….. risk of transmission after HIV infected blood 0.3%, risk of Hep B 30% and Hep C 10%....

Initially I was very angry at myself, I didn’t know what her status was, I should have been more careful, I should have double gloved or ….. done something else. For a moment I felt anger towards her too, though I knew it was not her doing.

As I was desperately washing my hands, squeezing as much blood as I could, she found out and started to cry. She tried to reassure me by saying “I do share needles but I always clean them”…. not much of a comforting thought.

In the middle of this suddenly a sense of calm came over me, I found peace with myself and with her, and I thought for a second and said “it is not your fault that I stuck my self, though it shows that how our actions can affect other people lives.”

I started the HIV prophylaxis, I need testing in 6 weeks, 12 weeks and 6 months. These medications were not easy to take and there were lots of them.

She walked out of the hospital, determined not to use again and plans to go to rehab, she was doing wonderful. On her way out she winked at me and said “good luck”.

So what is the lesson from this?........Sepsis Bundles work!….

Blog you later.

PS: About the picture, I saw this in field's museum in Chicago. Myth is that some diamonds bring bad luck. So it is a good thing that I do not own this rock.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Conundrum of Consultation.



Few years ago a fellow physician asked me to see a patient. When I asked him why he said “STP”,  he chuckled and said “for STP, share the pain”.

As a hospitalist, medical consultation is one of the essential components of our work. Various specialists require assistance in areas which are beyond the scope of their expertise. So, an orthopedist may want a hospitalist to manage infections or diabetes or a cardiologist wants us to evaluate a patient for abdominal pain. The reasons could vary. Some are from orthopedist, some from cardiologist etc….. 
They vary from atypical chest pain to coagulopathy. Most of them are very appropriate and we love to tackle medical problems of all sorts. But then there are some consults which are called for all the wrong reasons.

Interestingly when you look at the reason for consult, mostly it is a very vague reason like “medical co- management”. However, at times when you ask the nurse the reason is entirely different.

Don’t take me wrong, most of the times physicians need assistance like if someone is septic, they want a hospitalist or intensivist to take over the case. If someone has brittle diabetes, they want an opinion for better glycemic control. But some times the consult could be just STP (share the pain) or just indifference. At times  referring physician just want someone else to do their scud work. 
However, regardless of nature of the consult you would almost always find this statement at the end of dictation “Thank you for allowing me to assist you in this very "interesting patient”"

I will give you some very “interesting” consults I have received in the past few years.

-      A nurse called me for a consult for “medical co management”. I asked her what the story is? Apparently patient was very belligerent towards the attending physician. After the attending physician left patient wanted to leave against medical advice.  Nurse called the attending physician; he did not want to be bothered. When she asked for further direction, he said lets call for a hospitalist consult. That left me very perplexed. What am I suppose to do, get a couch, asks the patient to lie down and provide behavioral counseling?

-        I was called for diabetes management on a chest pain patient. When I came down to evaluate the patient I found out she was a 91 year old lady with hospice for terminal lung cancer. Apparently EMS brought her to the hospital while they were on their way to hospice house from nursing home. In the ambulance she started to moan. EMS thought it was a good idea to stop at the hospital. ER physician decided to admit this hospice patient.  On the whole scheme of things diabetes was the least of her problem. I spoke with the family and transferred her back to hospice.

-        Sometimes the consult is called because the surgeon or a refereeing physician does not want to perform medication reconciliation or discharge paperwork; we are consulted for “hypertension”, when patient is on a hint of diuretics for hypertension. They just don’t feel like doing it I guess.

Now on the other hand I would rather be a consultant on some cases than being the primary attending. Few years ago I was called to admit a 42 year old man with chest pain due to a thoracic aortic dissection. After ER physician finished presenting the case I asked him “do you think I have some divine connections, if you want I can come down and pray for this patient at bedside, as I am surely not a cardiothoracic surgeon and you want someone who can crack open his chest”.

Sometimes when I am being consulted I feel transiently important, it is good for my ego that they want my opinion. On the other hand I think we need to have very clear and defined reason for consult, not just “co- management”. This would not only improve care but also clearly focus on the specific issues which need to be addressed. Like the other day I saw a patient for “co-management”. Later found out that the physician was concerned about the side effects of a certain medication. I missed it completely as this was not mentioned nor conveyed to me at any time.

I can see how we need to improve communication from our side. This is an ongoing project at this time.




PS: About the picture: This is not a magic ball. Inside Vatican Museum.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Dante’s Inferno.





Nine Eleven.... always brings a feeling of dread, though it has been a decade now. 

In Dante’s Inferno, when Dante along with Virgil started to descend deeper into hell (Inferno), they observed Contrapasso, best explained as symbolic punishments, best suited for one's sin. A kind of a poetic justice. 
.
For example a con man in hell would be reassured that he will be served a full meal, when he would become hungry, he would be served with putrid and rotten food. A murderer will be kept alive for eternity, where he would only wish every second for death to relieve him from his agony.

If there is hell, what would be the punishment for our deeds? Let’s assume if we are not …..Umm….. not adequate. Not just adequate but negligent, if I may say so ... pernicious to others! So those guys who crashed the planes, what should they get in Dante's Inferno?

I have been in a hiatus, working on my book, busy with work etc and ... OK, have you ever come across a situation when someone calls you after a long time and you try to provide some lame excuse of being really busy? And when they ask you what you have been up to? You reply sheepishly “nothing much”.  
Well, I will not give any excuses, I will stop while I am ahead.

Just some random thoughts...

PS: I wrote few words last year on Nine eleven here. Took this picture around the same time.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Three Things You Want In Future.



 Today was a very special day. I have been invited for talks before but this was the best.

I went to my daughter’s class to talk about what I do. The teacher has invited parents to come to the class and talk about what they do for a living.

When I arrived at the school there were 17 children eagerly waiting. I talked about what Hospitalist are and what hospital medicine is about? I also informed them about wound care and hyperbaric medicine. I asked for any volunteers with any “boo-boo” for demonstration. One 7 year old volunteer with an ant bite came forward,  who I readily discharged from my service after prompt therapy.

All in all it was a lovely experience.

In the end I asked them if there were any questions or comments, here are some fine examples;

  • “My sister kicks me at night, can you do something about it”.
  • “My granny has a metal in her hip. Does she need any thing?”
  • “Do you also treat cats and dogs?”
  • “I know how you become a doctor, you go to med school”.
 The best thing is my daughter thought I was awesome! You  can’t beat that.
  
Blog You Later.

About the picture: My 6 year old daughter was asked what three things you want to do in future.
So if you look at the picture, she scratched 1- Fly 2- Talk to cars. Before what she wrote above. 

Monday, April 4, 2011

Chinese Curse


I took care of an elderly lady once. She was brought to the hospital by police after someone reported elder abuse. She was found in her room in diapers only. There were only crackers in the room. Apparently she was locked in the room by her family member; she was kept in diapers, as it would be “easy” to care for this way. She was fed mostly crackers and water. There were no sheets on the bed as it makes it easy, no sheets…. No cleaning.


When I saw her in the room she was eating grapes…… her bed side table was full of food. She was voraciously devouring her food. It was embarrassing to see her eat like that but on the other hand I was also glad that she could eat. She would not talk to me as every time I would ask her a question, she would give me an evil eye and continue to gobble something else…… grapes, lots of them I remember the most from that moment.

The sad part was that even after all that she did not complaint about her family member who did this…. only a mother can protect her child like that.

This event reminded me of a story from my childhood. There was this little kid, he was asked by her mother to go to the bazaar and buy the cheapest plate from a thrift store. He asked why mother? She said “this is for your grandmother as she breaks all the new stuff; I don’t want to waste money on a new plate”. This child went to the bazaar and came back with two old dirty plates. She was surprised and asked him “why two plates my dear?” and he said “one for granny and …. one for you when you are that age”.

In South Korea, a couple is being charged for murder after their baby daughter starved to death while they went out to play an online computer game. Sadly the game was about nurturing a virtual girl as she grows in a virtual world. What an irony.

It has been a famous Chinese curse, may you live in interesting times. I hope not too interesting.

Blog You Later.

About the picture:I spotted this presidential rabbit outside White House, hoarding something.


PS: Correction, obviously that is not a rabbit, I am not sure what I was thinking. LOL.... thank you Ann.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Snooki Or Not To Be....



To be or not to be---that is the question. Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer. When Shakespeare penned these words in Hamlet I am sure, that he was not thinking of Snooki.

I am not sure how many of you are familiar with the infamous Snooki, the star of “Jersey Shore”. She has made quite a name for herself in so many ways. To top it all she wrote a new book too.

I read this most interesting news the other day; she was invited to be a guest speaker at Rutgers University. Now the amazing thing is that she was paid $32,000. She was voted by students to get an invite.

During her talk she was full of wisdom and insight regarding this perplex thing we call life. She pondered on various subjects from fist pumping to laundry and tanning. I will take the liberty to quote one historic pearl from her speech,

                              “Study hard but party harder”.

When you Google Rutgers University, the first hit you get about this esteemed New Jersey University is

Rutgers, The State University of New Jersey, is dedicated to advanced learning, creating knowledge and contributing to the growing vitality of the state…….

Great……….
All jokes aside it is fine and dandy that you want your students to have all kinds of exposure. In all fairness the next speaker is 1993 Noble Laureate in literature , Toni Morrison. She will be speaking to a jam packed stadium audience.  She is known for her eloquence, role of black women in society and her contemporary style.

The only problem is she is getting paid two thousand dollars less than our party hardy girl. I think our Beloved is getting the short stick…. again!

Blog You Later.


About The Picture: That is JFK at a monument in Tampa, not to be mistaken for a Snooki quote.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Cost Share Program by Blue Cross Blue Shield.



Aspirin for headache.... 30 cents, medication for cough……. $3, antibiotics for flu…… $40. Being treated at some of the top notch hospitals.... an extra $1000. They say all good things in life are free, as long as you are not going to a hospital.

Recently Blue Cross Blue shield of Massachusetts introduced Hospital Choice Cost-Share Program. It is based on a system of High Cost hospitals and High Value hospitals. This year it was determined by CMS that all hospitals met the quality bar in Massachusetts

So these hospitals were than classified on the basis of cost meaning High Cost versus High Value hospitals. If you choose this program and if you decide to go to “high cost hospital”, you will end up with a higher co pay after their deductible. So far I hope this is not too confusing.

OK here goes, various hospitals charge different amount for the same services. So let’s say for a certain test one hospital charges you $1000 and another hospital charges to $600 for the same service. If you choose a Higher Cost Hospital you will pay your standard deductible + $450 co pay, for a lower cost hospital you pay only your co pay. However, if you go for the same test again within a year, for a Higher Cost Hospital you will pay $450 co pay, for a lower cost hospital you pay zero dollars. If you choose this program your premiums would not hike as much for next year.

Now if you decide to see the top 15  providers in Massachusetts, you would have to pay a higher out of pocket expense almost $1000, including hospitals like Brigham and Women’s Hospital, Harvard and University of Massachusetts Hospital (UMASS). Not so for Beth Israel Deaconess Hospital, Harvard (BIDMC) which was considered to be a low cost institute. I can relate to these issues as I saw it first hand when I was working at BIDMC and also at UMASS.

What impact this would have nationwide is still yet to be determined. I think if this becomes a trend with other insurance agencies and Medicare too, it may result in a paradigm shift in the way some hospitals do their billing. As we all know hospitals bills are not an easy thing to deal with regardless of what insurance you have. I wrote about this issue here (Bankruptcy, You Could Be Next).

Blog You Later.


About the picture: My very first day at UMASS many many many years ago.
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